Poison Pen

Is it really time for 90s nostalgia yet? Have we scrubbed enough of that decade from our brains that we can now look back fondly on all the stupid things we did, the annoying people we knew, and the lousy jobs we had? Apparently so, as VH1 has spoken by foisting I Love the 90s on us and making us listen to Michael Ian Black's or Mo Rocca's special 90s memories. So before Fox tries to trick us into watching That 90s Show, especially since we already had one -- it was called Friends and it took forever to get rid of that -- I figured I'd offer you all this, my own stab at 90s nostalgia.

The Poison Pen ran from July, 1992 until December, 1994, with one last painful stab at relevancy in December, 1995 that never went anywhere. It covered current events from my point of view, and at that time my point of view was mostly limited to the group of people I was hanging out with -- no different than anyone else of my generation, but I was one of the few to write it all down. The pages you'll find within these Archives are packed with inside jokes. If you were there, you might remember some of this stuff and you might have a laugh or two as you read the jokes. If you weren't there, you might wanna go take a peek elsewhere in the Archives, because a lot of this stuff will go way over your head.

If you were there and you do stick around and read these old pages, you're gonna see how much the Poison Pen victims have changed over the years. Most all the people mentioned regularly are married now. Many of them have kids. Some of them are even divorced. (Okay, I think I'm the only one who's divorced, which I don't understand since they're always complaining that the divorce rate in this country is 50% and yet there's only one damn divorce in the entire Poison Pen group? How the hell did that happen? Stupid statistics.) You may also notice that a few of the jokes here survive to this day, which speaks more to my lack of creativity than to any particular brilliance on my part. That said, take a few minutes, crack open a Crystal Pepsi, crank up some Pearl Jam, click the logo below, and take a step back to the 90s with The Poison Pen.

Technical Note: The Poison Pen is from the days before e-mail, so it was printed, Xeroxed, and distributed on paper. These scans reflect the original material and haven't been tweaked at all, which means they may be hard to read at times. In the future if this section proves popular, and if I want to take the time, I may actually convert them all into little web pages. For now, though, you get what you get. Enjoy!