While we sit in between the two party conventions this weekend, kind of like we’re in the eye of the shitstorm, I thought it would be fun (and lazy) to take a quick peek into the old Happy Friday Archives to see what the first appearance by our 2016 candidates looked like way back when. A couple of disclaimers. First, the old Happy Friday Archives are kind of a mess and I’m pretty sure I’m missing a lot of them from the first couple of years. And second, it looks like all the Hillary jokes at the beginning were more jokes about her husband and I lost interest in trying to find the first shot that wasn’t mostly at Bill. Perhaps some other day. And third, damn, I came out of the blocks running on the Trump hate, huh? With that in mind, fire up an episode of Friends, break out the Crystal Pepsi, grab a Chalupa and read these two jokes that are both shorter than this whole damn introduction:

From Happy Friday, May 31, 1996
First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton shocked the nation this week when she told Time Magazine reporters that she and the President are considering adopting a child. Their plans may have hit a snag a few days later, though, when they visited several local adoption agencies and found that the majority of the infants up for adoption bore a remarkable resemblance to the President.

From Happy Thursday, February 17, 1997
A gunman opened fire at the Empire State Building this weekend. Unfortunately, neither of the building’s owners, Donald Trump and Leona Helmsley, were there at the time.