Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 30, 2010 12:12 am

Need I say more?

Probably not, but I will anyway. Script stands at 101 pages right now. I probably need 30 more to wrap it up. Then I get to cut a lot of crap to get it back down to about 100, which is really all this story should need.

I know I’d promised a soundtrack list for this one, and I’ll get to that, but not until next week. There was just never enough time to figure out exactly what songs belong to this script. But the minute I figure it all out, I’ll post a list of some songs you’ve probably never heard of, but if you hunt them down and listen they might inspire you enough to demand I let you read a copy of the script. And you know what? I just might. Someone besides me has gotta see this thing at some point under some circumstances. Why not you?

And why, if I just managed to bang out 101 script pages in 30 days (or much less given my vacation) am I entitling my little celebratory blog post “Halfway Home”? Because I’ve still got a short story to finish before the end of April 30. That one still needs work, but I think I’ve got a handle on it and it should be no problem. And then? If there’s an iPad to be found in NYC, it just might end up coming home with me. If I can finish the story, that is.

More later. Sleep now. Thanks for reading.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 28, 2010 11:16 pm

Script = 90 pages.

Short story = 1486 words.

Countdown = T-minus 2 days.

Chances of Friday turning into iPad Friday = 80-or-so %

Chances of any of the words written the last couple of days actually belonging within four miles of each other = 30-or-so %

Chances that I’m going to worry about that before the weekend = 0-or-so %

I’m feeling cautiously optimistic. And very, very tired.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 26, 2010 11:45 pm

When I started this Script Frenzy business on April 1, I had a couple of assumptions. One of them was (though I guess technically this assumption came along a day or so later once I settled on my script) that I knew I wasn’t wrapping this script in 100 pages. I expected I’d need 120-130, and I’d edit down from there. The other assumption was that because of my vacation and the randomness of my work schedule, I wasn’t making it to 100 pages in 30 days anyway. So I packed up these assumptions, stuck them in the back of my brain, and wrote whenever I could.

I wrote on my laptop at night after work. I wrote on my iPhone on the express bus, on the couch, in my hotel room bed at Disney, while waiting around in at least 2 of the Disney parks, and, I’m not ashamed to admit it, on the can. And after 26 days, I find myself at 76 pages. Approximately 3 days behind schedule.

Is this good? I’m not sure. It’s probably better than I thought I’d be when I saw how little time or interest I had in writing while on vacation. But still, I’ve been writing from behind since the first week of this thing, and since I don’t know what the next 4 days will bring at work, 76 pages might be all I get to do. Who knows. But I think tentatively I have to say that 76 pages is probably pretty good for Day 26. It’s 76 more pages than most people will write in a month, for what that’s worth.

And there’s another obstacle, too. While April 30 is the Script Frenzy deadline, May 1 is the deadline for the latest issue of The First Line, and I’m trying real hard to submit something to them too. I’m just over 1000 words on that story, and need at least 1000 more, and possibly more than that. I’m writing this story exclusively on the iPhone, and that’s working out well so far.

So, 24 more pages of script and 1000-2000 more words of short story in 4 days? I don’t think I can pull it off. I’m gonna give it a try, though. It’s too early to give up. That’s what Thursday night is for.

Of course, I did make a deal with myself as kind of an incentive. If I get them both done on time, I might just head on out and reward myself with an iPad. Let’s see if that helps. For now, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 21, 2010 10:25 pm

This post is from May 28, 2007, and originally appeared in T & Sympathy on the Treetop Lounge site upon the 30th anniversary of the premiere of Star Wars . With the 30th anniversary of The Empire Strikes Back looming, I figured I’d post this here so that when I write about Empire, there’ll be some context. I hope you enjoy this repeat of a glimpse into the soul of a geek:

You know, earlier this year I got through my 39th birthday without a hitch. I didn’t spend even one second thinking about how old I am, so I sure as hell didn’t waste time feeling old. But that was then. Now, with the 30th anniversary of the release of Star Wars coming this Friday, I realize that I am, in fact, quite old. That was 30 years ago? I can still remember it so clearly (but don’t ask me what I did last Thursday, because there’s no way in hell I can remember that). But Star Wars? Thirty years ago? Is that even possible?

One thing I do know is that I didn’t see Star Wars on its opening day. Even if I’d wanted to, and even if I’d been able to harass my mom into taking me, I’m not sure the movie was open anywhere near me that first day. I’m pretty sure that Empire Strikes Back opened in Brooklyn a couple of weeks after it opened in Manhattan, and I know for a fact that Return of the Jedi opened on the same day everywhere (since I was there for the 3:00 show), but I don’t know what the deal was with Star Wars. I just know I didn’t see it until sometime in June, or possibly even July or August.

Which is not to say that I lived a Star Wars-free existence for all that time. Oh, no. I can recall seeing commercials for it in the late winter and early spring. And oddly enough, considering what came next, I don’t remember thinking that Star Wars was a movie I had to see. In fact, I had the opposite reaction and figured I’d end up passing. I don’t think I went to the movies too often back then anyway. If I did, I barely remember them.

But then Star Wars opened and at some point kids in school started to see it and the word in the school yard was that this movie was great. Incredible. Must-see. The most amazing thing ever put on film. Plus, there were comics, including what was probably my first direct encounter with the Star Wars universe:

Yeah, okay, this was probably not the best way for someone to be introduced to the whole Star Wars concept, seeing as it takes place after the movie, includes only two characters who actually appeared in the movie, and features a six-foot-tall green bunny rabbit with guns. Just try and imagine how hard my 9-year-old brain worked to resolve this picture with the scraps of information I’d been given by my friends who’d already seen the movie. Let me tell you, no one had mentioned any big green bunnies before.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long to stumble across another comic that actually introduced me to the real Star Wars story:

This was a gigantic comic book printed on paper so thin and cheap that I think it began to turn yellow the instant I opened it. But the important thing was it contained 3 full issues of Marvel’s Star Wars comic, which covered about half of the Star Wars movie. I still hadn’t seen the movie, but now I had some idea of what it was about and it just made me want to see it more. And if I couldn’t see it, then at least I wanted to read the second half, but that second half proved to be very elusive and I didn’t track it down until many, many months later while being dragged on a shopping trip by my mom because I was taking a sick day from school. By the time I found the second half of the comic adaptation, I’d seen the movie and was desperate for more, but since there were no VCRs and no DVDs, this holy grail offered me the chance to relive the whole story whenever I wanted:

So yeah, when I think of Star Wars, I don’t always think of the movie first; I think of these comics. Or, I think of this:

I got this maybe a year after the movie came out, and I read it so often that I eventually had to tape the damn thing together with duct tape to keep it from turning into a random pile of pages that might or might not remain in the proper order. I actually picked up another copy of this back in the mid-90s in a used book store in San Francisco. It was an earlier edition than mine, and in way better condition. I never read it, though. Turns out it’s just not the same without the duct tape. Anyway, this book claimed to be from “The Adventures of Luke Skywalker,” which led me to imagine a long series of other such adventures, which never really happened in novel form for a couple of decades. For many years, while waiting for the VCR to come along, then for my family to get one, then for Star Wars to turn up on video, if I was interested in the story, I’d read this book or I’d read the comics or I’d be flat out of luck. In this day where there’s probably 2 or 3 different versions of the entire saga available at your local Best Buy, my story seems pretty sad, huh?

But you know what? I don’t think I agree. Because by reading the book, and reading the comics, I got to read some scenes that never made it to the movie, but sure did flesh out the story a little bit more. And I got to take those little clues as to how everyone got where they were at the start of the movie and imagine my own version of the Clone Wars and the Jedi and how Darth Vader got into that big black suit. And after so many years of those ideas percolating in the back of my head thanks to the spark these books set off in my overactive 9-year-old imagination, I watched the prequels with a profound sense of disappointment,
because their story wasn’t as good as mine. So on the 30th Anniversary, I might watch Star Wars again (probably on my VHS because it’s the only version I’ve got that’s not all Special Editioned), but if I don’t have the time instead I might just read this:

I never knew this existed when I was a kid, but a couple of years ago I picked it up dirt cheap on eBay. Yeah, the pages are big and cheap and yellowed, but this is my Star Wars and if I’ve gotta acknowledge that 30 years have passed since it first appeared, I might as well do so on my own terms. And if I really want to go all ultra-super-mega-geek, I’ll read it while playing a few selections from this:

My first CD boxed set ever. Damn you, George Lucas. I mean, thanks for the great movie and somewhat lame sequels and prequels and for helping set me on this creative path that sure as hell hasn’t worked out so well for me so far, and I hope you’ve enjoyed all the money I’ve thrown your way over the years, but still, damn you all to hell for creating something that inspired this big long geeky page.

T “these are not the droids you’re looking for” green

And, as always, T & Sympathy is brought to you by the Star Wars collection from Kenner. May the Force be with you, and your children…

The original version of this included a YouTube video of an old Kenner Star Wars toy commercial that has since been pulled for copyright reasons. Sorry I can’t include it here.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 20, 2010 11:21 pm

You now what makes me sad? This makes me sad:

How the hell is it possible that The Empire Strikes Back is turning 30? I’m almost positive I just went to see it at the Brook Theater on Flatbush and Flatlands maybe 2 or 3 years ago. Certainly not 30 years ago. That can’t be possible. I’m not that old.

Whether I’m old enough or not, this surprising news means I’ll probably go and dig out the Star Wars essay I wrote for T & Sympathy at the Treetop Lounge a couple of years ago and add it here, maybe with an edit or two. And then I’m gonna write one up for Empire, because I’ve got some similar stuff to say about that movie. And then I’ll go get drunk over the very real possibility that I might be so old that I saw this movie premiere 30 years ago. Though I still don’t completely believe it.

I could also use a time machine to help me out with my Script Frenzy script. I’m back to writing regularly, but I’m way behind, which we’ll get to in a post tomorrow, I believe. And a time machine might ensure that I actually get around to creating some of the action-packed Tgreen vs Walt Disney World content that I want to post to this blog. But mostly, the time machine would help me go back and prove there’s no way I’m old enough to remember this movie’s premiere and must be thinking of its latest DVD release. Any other possibility is not worth considering.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 17, 2010 11:40 pm

A couple more random thoughts as we pack for the return trip home…

If you name your kid Mason, you’re probably dooming him to a lifetime of yokeldom.

If you like white people with a side of white people, Disney’s your place. If you like white people with a side of not-white people, you might wanna try Universal.

While driving between Disney attractions, your best bet it to read the roadsigns, decide what you think the sign is telling you to do, and then do the opposite of that. Trust me on this.

I’ve seen the future, and it’s in scooter rentals.

If the Country Bears Jamboree is temporarily closed, no one appreciates it if you announce in a loud voice that it’s closed because one of the bears mauled someone.

If you stand between a resort guest and a free soda refill, there’s a good chance you’re gonna get hurt.

Star Tours is all the proof you need that even the Lucas people know the prequel movies are crap. It’s the only Disney ride I’ve done twice, and it’s exactly the same as it was in 1993. Not an Anakin or Jar Jar to be found.

If you like a parade, you need to come to Disney, because you can’t take five steps without tripping over one. Though by the time a Mickey Mouse float came by to celebrate Tgreen Drops A Deuce, I knew they’d gone too far.

When you see an 80-year old with a First Disney Visit pin, you have to wonder what he was waiting for. Or you have to wonder if his family just waited until he didn’t know where he was anymore and they just tossed him into the car.

The bibles in Disney hotel rooms are not Mickey’s Bible Tales, though they really should be.

Universal’s Islands of Adventure has a Marvel Superheroes attraction that’s 1992tastic.

I think “Epcot” is Esperanto for “buy lots of foreign crap”.

If it’s appeared onscreen for more than a second in a Disney movie, it’s stamped on a piece of merchandise.

Somewhere out there in this great country of ours, the Mohawk and the Mullet are still highly popular hairstyles for gentlemen. And ladies, don’t you fret, there’s also something out there that’s quite popular and can best be described as the “Modified Aunt Bee”.

Using spray-on sunscreen can leave you looking greasier than Steven Segal at a strip club buffet.

Sequels to bad blog posts are about as entertaining as sequels to bad movies. And they don’t come with popcorn.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 14, 2010 10:28 pm

I’m late. Soooo late. But I’m on vacation, so it’s understandable. And expected. I knew I’d fall behind this week. I also knew this week would be the one to bounce me from this ridiculous idea completely. And I was okay with all this. I could live with all this, no problem. So why did I spend my few minutes of downtime today working on my script for the first time in nearly a week?

Because I foolishly let the characters get in my head, that’s why. I didn’t know if that would happen, since it’s never happened before when I’ve tried to write a screenplay. But this idea’s been cooking for a year or so, and maybe that’s the difference. Maybe that’s what’s keeping my interest higher than usual.

Basically where I find myself now is wrapping Act 1 and preparing to swing into Act 2, and even though it’s taking me a few pages more than I’d planned, the characters are starting to feel real to me. And I’m really gonna need that to happen if I’m gonna pull off that scene near the end of Act 3 that gets the audience up on its feet cheering. Or, sunk into it’s seat weeping. I don’t wanna let slip what goes on in this story just yet.

But I’m writing toward a particular scene, and if the characters are real to me I’ve got a better chance of actually getting there. And I’ve also got a better chance of writing a scene as good as the scene I’ve been thinking about the last few months. Because the stuff I think about writing almost always kicks the entire ass of what I actually write. Which is why I think about writing a lot more than I write.

And I figure, I’m writing a script. The point of a script is that it’s going to be performed somewhere. So even if I don’t hit the ball out of the park on this one, a halfway decent director and a couple of actors, along with the song the scene revolves around, could all make it work anyway. Unlike when I write a story, all of the pressure’s not on me.

Unfortunately, this deadline’s all me. I’m the only one who can get there, and if I don’t, that director and those actors will have to work on Transformers 3 or something, and I’m not sure I want to be held responsible for that. For now, back to my vacation. But when I get home, I’ve got a lot of writing to do. No wonder they call this thing a script frenzy.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 14, 2010 5:44 pm

People have been asking me if I plan to blog about my vacation, and I probably will, once I get home. Not enough time to gather and then organize my thoughts to provide you with the brilliant comedic stylings you’re used to around here.

Ahem.

But since I find myself with a small break between Disney park and dinner, I figured I’d throw down some random thoughts to tide us all over until I can write something real, with pictures. So, here’s what’s been rattling around my head since I left Brooklyn…

You can drive 832 miles and still get stuck driving behind some asshole from New Jersey.

The second-saddest kids you’ll ever see are the kids leaving a Disney park.

The saddest kids you’ll ever see are the kids actually inside a Disney park. I do not know why this is.

Salamanders on the ceiling run pretty quick.

After 3 days surrounded by tourists, I think I could make big money by starting a game show called Gay or Foreign?

It doesn’t feel so bad to be disconnected from your home teams when your home teams suck.

Nobody looks good in the Goofy-ears hat. Nobody.

Every day I’ve turned on the local news I’ve either heard about a missing kid, a carjacked old lady, or a SWAT team busting up a house. And people complain about NYC?

Florida is apparently the land of oranges, pecans, and McRibs.

It you actually tried to eat all the food you get on the dining plan, you’d get so big you’d never be able to fit through the park exit.

People from England have way more important things to do than worry about the fact that you were in line before them.

If you name one of your kids Melissa, and the other BJ, you should probably carefully consider in which order you’re going to call for them in a crowded theme park.

Most empty threat overheard so far, from angry mother to bratty son: “Do you want to go back to the room?” Like mom’s gonna sit in the room all day to teach the kid a lesson.

They like their Waffle Houses in North Carolina, and their Taco Bells in Virginia.

In the Hall of Presidents, the animatronic presidents don’t break out into a fight, which kind of ruins the whole thing.

Turns out, the throttle control sensor is a pretty important part in a car.

About the only thing they haven’t slapped Mickey’s face on is condoms. And I haven’t been to every store yet so I could still be wrong about that.

Seriously, Gay or Foreign? Win fabulous prizes.

The most terrifying ride in all of Florida may be the E.T. ride at Universal, because the whole time you don’t know if they’re suddenly going to start playing that Neil Diamond Heartlight song.

Or make you play the old Atari 2600 E.T. game for 10 minutes before they let you out.

Jacksonville and Orlando aren’t nearly as close together as they should be.

I’m expecting the entire New York Rangers team to show up any minute, now that they have nothing better to do.

In hindsight, it’s probably not a good idea to ask a Georgia State Trooper if he knows Sheriff Lobo.

Random thoughts aren’t terribly interesting once they’re all typed out.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 4, 2010 12:21 am

Okay, so against my better judgement I did in fact start up my script for Script Frenzy. It was not a trouble-free process. If you recall back in November when I started up Nanowrimo, my main point, other than the fact that it was a bad idea, was that I went in with nothing. No idea as to what I was going to write. No characters, no setting, no plot, no nothing. And this did not worry me, because I’ve been writing fiction for years and feel that if nothing else, I know how to work my way into a story even when I’m starting on fumes.

Turns out script writing is different, at least for me. Probably because I’m not used to the format, when I sat down on the night of April 1st to write, it was awkward. Maybe not quite “oh crap, I think I’m accidentally writing an episode of According to Jim” awkward, but it was pretty awkward. I dutifully banged out my 4 pages of script, powered down the computer for the night, and went to sleep. The thing is, though, I wasn’t itching to start working on page 5, and one thing I’ve learned from my several attempts at Nanowrimo, once I get started I can usually at least keep myself interested for the first few days or longer. If my script was boring me on day 1, how was I going to get through something like day 20, when no doubt I’d be several pages behind with a half dozen work deadlines kicking my ass?

Now, if you’ll hang on for just a second — a side trip. I mentioned the other day that I knew going into this thing that there was no way I’d be able to write 100 script pages in April. This is because I’ll be headed down to Disney World for a week, and I don’t expect to get a whole lot of writing done while I’m down there. But since I wasn’t going to let 4 lame script pages sink my month before it had even started, I looked for a way to get some writing done while on vacation. Since I wrote some of my Nanowrimo story on my iPhone, I went looking for a script-writing app and sure enough, I found several. One of them offered a free trial version, so on Friday I downloaded it and gave it a try. I didn’t pick up on page 5 of the script I was working on. Instead, I just started a second script and wrote about a page or so. It was no better than the other 4 pages, with no big prospects to get better.

If you’re keeping score at home, by day 2 of Script Frenzy I had 2 different scripts that I didn’t like, with barely a plot between them. What could I do? Would I have to give up on the 2nd day? I thought about it, sure. But then while I was at work another idea came to me. I did have one particular story kicking around the back of my head the last 2 years or so. It’s heavily music-based and most of the climax involves a singing performance, and from back when I first thought of it I knew that if the story were ever going to survive outside the confines of my brain, it would only work if people could hear the song, watch it being sung, and experience what the characters experience as it happens. This meant screenplay, which explains why the story got exiled to the back of my brain, called forward only when I played a particular sequence of songs on my iPod.

But I was thinking, maybe I’m not good enough to try and crank out a script by starting from zero. Maybe if I’m writing a script, I need the comfort of some pre-considered ideas to get me over the unfamiliar terrain of script writing. So I went home the second day of Script Frenzy, planted ass in seat, and instead of picking up the script from the night before, or the script on my iPhone, I decided to start my 3rd script in less than 48 hours and I wrote this:

INT. HOLLY’S WORLD STORE #8, NIGHT
BRIAN JONES, late 20s and dressed in business casual attire gone wrinkled and sloppy after a 12+ hour day, walks the empty floor of the store one last time, scanning up and down aisles for any activity as he heads for the bank of light switches past the checkout counters near the front door. NEIL, mid-20s and dressed in shabby jeans and a Holly’s World smock, slouches by the front door waiting for Brian. Brian hits switches in sequence as he passes, and a click is audible as a bank of lights goes out each time. When no light remains but the emergency lights pooled near the front door, he shoos Neil out the door and follows him.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLY’S WORLD PARKING LOT, SECONDS LATER
Brian and Neil walk to opposite sides of the wide entrance area and wrestle down the metal security grating. Brian closes the padlock on his end, then walks to Neil’s end and closes the padlock there as well. He blows a small cloud of steam into the cool night air as he and Neil survey the parking lot, empty except for Brian’s car and a minivan that just finished pulling up several spots away from them.

NEIL:
Oh Jesus, this isn’t a customer, is it? It’s like 2 in the morning.

BRIAN:
This is what happens when you cut back from 24 hours. People forget but they still need stuff.

NEIL:
It’s not our problem this dumb bastard showed up after the store closed. C’mon, let’s go.

BRIAN:
Let’s at least wait until we find out what he wants. We can point him toward the 24-hour store by the Interstate.

NEIL:
If we don’t freeze to death first.

Nothing Oscar-worthy, to be sure. But all of a sudden, I was writing a script for a story I’d thought up maybe 2 years ago. I’m on page 14 or 15 right now, and while I’m not even up to the first scene I’d imagined for this story, I’ve already introduced a character I never imagined lived in this story and who turns out to be pretty cool. And I’m looking forward to sitting down and writing this one every day, to see if I can make it to that last scene with that last song. I’m going all in on this one, and I hope it pays off.

Expect to see more script excerpts throughout the month, and also soundtrack listings, since for once I’ll be completely justified in making a soundtrack for a story. Thanks to my vacation I doubt I’ll make it to page 100 before April 30. But if it all works out, I’ll find a way to get this whole story down. Thanks for stopping by and indulging a more-than-slightly-burned-out writer wannabe.

Comments (0)

By Tgreen, April 1, 2010 10:19 pm

The company I work for uses GMail for our office email, which was not something I was used to but I got into it pretty quickly. It was nice for a change to be able to access work emails from anywhere. Not that I’m desperate to come home every night and see if anything interesting has happened at the office since I left, but it’s let me work from home without hassle, update my boss on some info from two states away, and at least once explain to a bunch of people at once why the A train was making me very late. So after a couple of years of this, I can safely say that GMail = cool.

Recently, though, something unexpected happened that has me wondering if it’s time to rethink my relationship with GMail. As I often do in my job, I had to take a screen shot to send to someone as a way to explain what was wrong with the page I was testing. So as I wrote my notes, I included a little aside that said see attached after I explained the issue in question. As I also often do in my job, when it came time to send the email, I’d forgotten to actually attach the screen shot. Whenever this happened in the past, it would lead to an exchange much like this one:

Programmer: Where’s the screen shot?
Me: D’oh!

Not this week. No, this week, I wrote my test notes and forgot my attachment and sent the email out to maybe half a dozen people when suddenly Gmail itself stopped me with a message that said, you wrote “see attached” but you did not attach anything; do you want to send this email? It was at this point where I wondered if GMail = kinda stalkerish.

So I added my attachment and sent my email and Gmail looked at me with a smug expression that said, yeah, I covered for you this time, but if you continue to slack off like this eventually even I won’t be able to keep your sorry ass employed. And this made me wonder how closely GMail was reading my emails, and if there were any other ways for it to help me out. I mean, I deal with some confidential stuff, so am I supposed to be comfortable with the fact that my confidential email is being shared between me, some coworkers, and GMail? Or should I trust that confidential or not, most of these emails are so boring that they’d put even a computer to sleep? Either way, this just drilled home the point that someone’s always watching us. At least this time it was watching and was willing to help. So maybe ultimately GMail = my new best friend.

Which is why my coworkers are already sick of seeing every one of my emails this week ending with the sentence I really, really want an iPad.