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By Tgreen, May 28, 2015 8:48 pm

Former New York Governor George Pataki threw his hat into the ring for the 2016 Presidential race this week. With the list of Republican hopefuls growing by the day, it’s getting harder and harder for prospective candidates to stand out from the pack. Fortunately, the ways to praise Pataki practically write themselves (which is good because that means you can’t blame me for writing this crap), as you’ll see when you read…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Proposed George Pataki Campaign Slogans:

10. Pataki. The “P” isn’t silent. And yes, this is literally the most interesting personal fact we could come up with

9. Upstate New York’s Finest. You know, Upstate New York? That part of New York no one ever thinks about except for the first 10 seconds after an I Love New York commercial?

8. A better choice than Joe Biden. If Biden was running. Which so far he isn’t

7. No truth to the rumor he waited until Letterman retired to announce his campaign to avoid the additional ridicule

6. No truth to the rumor that Letterman even remembers who he is

5. Yes, he’s another pasty rich white guy, but at least he’s not crazy religious too

4. Of course he was Governor of New York. For several years. Before the blind guy and the guy who slept with the hooker. Just look him up on Wikipedia already

3. Almost never says “How high?” anymore when Rudy Giuliani says “Jump!”

2. Shows up regularly on Fox News, and you know Fox News won’t put on just any old crank with money and a tie

1. All of Trump’s chances of winning with none of Trump’s baggage

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By Tgreen, May 22, 2015 10:32 am

Since I don’t know if I’ll ever do another Greetings from Shokanaw strip, but I was inspired enough to do this one last month, I figured this was as good a place as any to post it. Besides Facebook, of course, where it originally lived.

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By Tgreen, May 20, 2015 9:01 pm

Tonight CBS airs David Letterman’s final show after 33 years on late night TV. I swiped a lot from David Letterman over the years, so I’m obviously sad to see him go. However, there are a few silver linings in this cloud, as you’ll see when you take a look at…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Good Things About David Letterman’s Retirement:

10. No more grown-ups on late night TV, so Jimmy Fallon will no longer look like a 12-year-old in comparison

9. Can finally stop trying to teach your dog a Stupid Pet Trick to get yourself on TV

8. Only cranky old guy you have to deal with regularly now is your dad

7. One less place for Jay Leno to ever appear on my TV again

6. Now you can really dig in to that last half hour of Conan without feeling guilty about it

5. The chance that Drew Barrymore might hop on your desk and flash you just increased by .00000000001%

4. No more getting creeped out by Paul Shafer’s bald head

3. Can stop worrying that someone on TV might say something to hurt Oprah’s feelings

2. CBS’s audience demographic just dropped all the way from 75 to 74.5

1. In a few weeks, no one will even remember where I swiped this Top Ten idea from