I’m Tgreen and this is Happy Friday, the weekly post that’s starting to wonder if maybe somehow this whole election thing has gone just a little bit off the rails.

The first sign of this came an hour and a half before the second Presidential Debate, when Republican candidate Donald Trump held a surprise Facebook panel with women who have accused former President Bill Clinton of sexual misconduct. And grabbed each one of them by the pussy.

This week Samsung suspended production of the Galaxy Note 7 after reports that replacement models for phones that had caught on fire also were catching on fire. But in Samsung’s defense, the replacement fires were smaller than the original fires, so at least they were making progress.

In a related story, Samsung announced its new product line, the Samsung Galaxy Hand Warmer, coming to a store near you this holiday season.

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus this week held an emergency call to declare that the party remains firmly behind Donald Trump. No word on if it’s behind him in a normal way, or the super-creepy way he stood behind Hillary Clinton at this week’s debate.

A new study shows that working over 25 hours per week after age 40 can lead to a decline in cognition. And apparently an increase in desire to write shitty Top Ten Lists.

This week Billy Bush was fired from the Today Show because of his appearance in Donald Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” video, thus inadvertently proving that the standards for hosting the 3rd hour of a network morning show are higher than for being the GOP nominee.

This week Donald Trump told his supporters to be sure to go out and vote on November 28. Which suggests he’s given up on being President and is now aiming to win this season of Dancing With the Stars.

The date mixup is all the proof you need that Trump’s not a career politician. The phrase is supposed to be “vote early and often,” not “vote 20 days too late.” Amateur.

Hillary’s from Chicago. I can guarantee you she knows all about how that works.

Oscar Mayer announced this week that it’s recalling some Lunchables due to allergen concerns. In a statement, Oscar Mayer said that anyone with food allergies would be completely safe, though, for “obvious reasons.”

This week Bill and Hillary Clinton celebrated 15 happy years of marriage on the occasion of their 41st wedding anniversary.

This week’s debate was the first to ever appear on Iranian television. As advertisements for democracy go, it probably didn’t make the sale.

Excerpts from some of Hillary Clinton’s speeches to Wall Street execs were released by Wikileaks this week. Among them was a comment that politicians need to have “both a public and a private position.” She claimed that this was merely a comment on Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln. No word yet on what she meant when she said, “It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me.”

Wow, after almost 21 years, a joke so nerdy even I wouldn’t have gotten it if I hadn’t written it.

Russian President Vladimir Putin turned 64 this week and was given 450 birthday roses from his Parliament. And 300 new Hillary Clinton emails from Wikileaks.

This week singer/songwriter Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Which is cool and all, but it’s not nearly as prestigious as Jon Bon Jovi’s Nobel Prize in Getting Played A Lot On NJ Radio.

At a speech in Florida this week Donald Trump told supporters he was an “existential threat” to the political establishment. The rally was then halted for an hour as Trump struggled to find a term for “existential” that his supporters could understand.

This week Starbucks introduced a new drink that’s a mix of beer and espresso. Toss on in a cigarette and you could call this drink “Tgreen about five hours into any wedding in the early-to-mid–90s.”

And finally, this week Hillary Clinton was forced to answer under oath 25 questions about her private email system. She responded “do not recall” 20 times. It’s even worse than it sounds, though, because by question 23 she said that she no longer recalled questions 1 through 4.

Moral Question Department:

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are trapped in a burning building. You only have time to save one of them. Do you go to the movies or go home to watch Netflix?

A lot of people in the Northeast woke up this week to temperatures in the low 40s, which is as sure a sign as any that we’re not in summer anymore, Toto.

But some people need more than one sign, which is what I’m here for, as you’ll see when you take a look at…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Signs That Summer Is Over:

10. When you go outside in shorts your legs are red from frostbite and not from sunburn

9. Burgers on the grill need to be examined closely for falling leaves

8. Slowly-decaying orange thing might be pumpkin and not Trump’s chance for getting elected

7. Loud neighbor stops annoying you with fantasy baseball talk and starts annoying you with fantasy football talk

6. Sports Illustrated includes hockey story somewhere around page 46

5. NJTransit issues last heat-related delay announcement of the year

4. Back-to-school commercials suddenly replaced by Halloween commercials

3. Favorite new show cancelled after three episodes

2. Start to see trailers for movies that don’t feature superheroes or star people you only know from Comedy Central

1. Landlord stops lying to you about why the A/C doesn’t work, starts lying to you about why the heat doesn’t work

And that’s all we have time for this week. Until next time, buy your Doctor Strange tickets, root for Tony Romo’s speedy recovery so the Cowboys can suck again, watch some hockey, get ready for that third debate, be Presidential and grab someone by the pussy, run out and cut left, stay up all night thinking about 5 ways these campaigns could get even worse, be nice to your autocorrect, give it a rest, be kind, rewind and, as always, have a Happy Friday!

T “runner-up for the Nobel Prize in Happy Friday” green