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By Tgreen, April 17, 2010 11:40 pm

A couple more random thoughts as we pack for the return trip home…

If you name your kid Mason, you’re probably dooming him to a lifetime of yokeldom.

If you like white people with a side of white people, Disney’s your place. If you like white people with a side of not-white people, you might wanna try Universal.

While driving between Disney attractions, your best bet it to read the roadsigns, decide what you think the sign is telling you to do, and then do the opposite of that. Trust me on this.

I’ve seen the future, and it’s in scooter rentals.

If the Country Bears Jamboree is temporarily closed, no one appreciates it if you announce in a loud voice that it’s closed because one of the bears mauled someone.

If you stand between a resort guest and a free soda refill, there’s a good chance you’re gonna get hurt.

Star Tours is all the proof you need that even the Lucas people know the prequel movies are crap. It’s the only Disney ride I’ve done twice, and it’s exactly the same as it was in 1993. Not an Anakin or Jar Jar to be found.

If you like a parade, you need to come to Disney, because you can’t take five steps without tripping over one. Though by the time a Mickey Mouse float came by to celebrate Tgreen Drops A Deuce, I knew they’d gone too far.

When you see an 80-year old with a First Disney Visit pin, you have to wonder what he was waiting for. Or you have to wonder if his family just waited until he didn’t know where he was anymore and they just tossed him into the car.

The bibles in Disney hotel rooms are not Mickey’s Bible Tales, though they really should be.

Universal’s Islands of Adventure has a Marvel Superheroes attraction that’s 1992tastic.

I think “Epcot” is Esperanto for “buy lots of foreign crap”.

If it’s appeared onscreen for more than a second in a Disney movie, it’s stamped on a piece of merchandise.

Somewhere out there in this great country of ours, the Mohawk and the Mullet are still highly popular hairstyles for gentlemen. And ladies, don’t you fret, there’s also something out there that’s quite popular and can best be described as the “Modified Aunt Bee”.

Using spray-on sunscreen can leave you looking greasier than Steven Segal at a strip club buffet.

Sequels to bad blog posts are about as entertaining as sequels to bad movies. And they don’t come with popcorn.