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By Tgreen, April 14, 2010 10:28 pm

I’m late. Soooo late. But I’m on vacation, so it’s understandable. And expected. I knew I’d fall behind this week. I also knew this week would be the one to bounce me from this ridiculous idea completely. And I was okay with all this. I could live with all this, no problem. So why did I spend my few minutes of downtime today working on my script for the first time in nearly a week?

Because I foolishly let the characters get in my head, that’s why. I didn’t know if that would happen, since it’s never happened before when I’ve tried to write a screenplay. But this idea’s been cooking for a year or so, and maybe that’s the difference. Maybe that’s what’s keeping my interest higher than usual.

Basically where I find myself now is wrapping Act 1 and preparing to swing into Act 2, and even though it’s taking me a few pages more than I’d planned, the characters are starting to feel real to me. And I’m really gonna need that to happen if I’m gonna pull off that scene near the end of Act 3 that gets the audience up on its feet cheering. Or, sunk into it’s seat weeping. I don’t wanna let slip what goes on in this story just yet.

But I’m writing toward a particular scene, and if the characters are real to me I’ve got a better chance of actually getting there. And I’ve also got a better chance of writing a scene as good as the scene I’ve been thinking about the last few months. Because the stuff I think about writing almost always kicks the entire ass of what I actually write. Which is why I think about writing a lot more than I write.

And I figure, I’m writing a script. The point of a script is that it’s going to be performed somewhere. So even if I don’t hit the ball out of the park on this one, a halfway decent director and a couple of actors, along with the song the scene revolves around, could all make it work anyway. Unlike when I write a story, all of the pressure’s not on me.

Unfortunately, this deadline’s all me. I’m the only one who can get there, and if I don’t, that director and those actors will have to work on Transformers 3 or something, and I’m not sure I want to be held responsible for that. For now, back to my vacation. But when I get home, I’ve got a lot of writing to do. No wonder they call this thing a script frenzy.

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By Tgreen, April 14, 2010 5:44 pm

People have been asking me if I plan to blog about my vacation, and I probably will, once I get home. Not enough time to gather and then organize my thoughts to provide you with the brilliant comedic stylings you’re used to around here.

Ahem.

But since I find myself with a small break between Disney park and dinner, I figured I’d throw down some random thoughts to tide us all over until I can write something real, with pictures. So, here’s what’s been rattling around my head since I left Brooklyn…

You can drive 832 miles and still get stuck driving behind some asshole from New Jersey.

The second-saddest kids you’ll ever see are the kids leaving a Disney park.

The saddest kids you’ll ever see are the kids actually inside a Disney park. I do not know why this is.

Salamanders on the ceiling run pretty quick.

After 3 days surrounded by tourists, I think I could make big money by starting a game show called Gay or Foreign?

It doesn’t feel so bad to be disconnected from your home teams when your home teams suck.

Nobody looks good in the Goofy-ears hat. Nobody.

Every day I’ve turned on the local news I’ve either heard about a missing kid, a carjacked old lady, or a SWAT team busting up a house. And people complain about NYC?

Florida is apparently the land of oranges, pecans, and McRibs.

It you actually tried to eat all the food you get on the dining plan, you’d get so big you’d never be able to fit through the park exit.

People from England have way more important things to do than worry about the fact that you were in line before them.

If you name one of your kids Melissa, and the other BJ, you should probably carefully consider in which order you’re going to call for them in a crowded theme park.

Most empty threat overheard so far, from angry mother to bratty son: “Do you want to go back to the room?” Like mom’s gonna sit in the room all day to teach the kid a lesson.

They like their Waffle Houses in North Carolina, and their Taco Bells in Virginia.

In the Hall of Presidents, the animatronic presidents don’t break out into a fight, which kind of ruins the whole thing.

Turns out, the throttle control sensor is a pretty important part in a car.

About the only thing they haven’t slapped Mickey’s face on is condoms. And I haven’t been to every store yet so I could still be wrong about that.

Seriously, Gay or Foreign? Win fabulous prizes.

The most terrifying ride in all of Florida may be the E.T. ride at Universal, because the whole time you don’t know if they’re suddenly going to start playing that Neil Diamond Heartlight song.

Or make you play the old Atari 2600 E.T. game for 10 minutes before they let you out.

Jacksonville and Orlando aren’t nearly as close together as they should be.

I’m expecting the entire New York Rangers team to show up any minute, now that they have nothing better to do.

In hindsight, it’s probably not a good idea to ask a Georgia State Trooper if he knows Sheriff Lobo.

Random thoughts aren’t terribly interesting once they’re all typed out.