Michael Jackson’s corpse wasn’t even cool yet before professional feces-tosser Al Sharpton was out there reminding us that Michael was black, bad-mouthing Elvis and Sinatra, and making sure his name was spelled right in the articles written about him by the media he claims to hate. Al Sharpton hating the media is a bit like me hating oxygen, but today we’re not here to talk about Al Sharpton. No, today we’re here to talk about one of his ideas.

You see, while lecturing us on his view of the late King of Pop, Sharpton suggested that Michael Jackson belongs on a stamp. And he does. The King of Pop is the perfect candidate for a stamp, because just like the King of Rock & Roll, he offers us the chance to pick which version of him we want to see. And while Elvis gave us the choice of Fat Elvis vs Thin Elvis, Michael Jackson gives us so much more to work with, as you’ll see when you take a peek at…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Michael Jackson Stamp Choices:
10. Black Michael vs White Michael
9. Fake date with Brooke Shields Michael vs Fake marriage with Lisa Marie Presley Michael
8. Scarecrow Michael vs Captain Eo Michael
7. Man in the Mirror Michael vs Freak in a Surgical Mask Michael
6. Bubble Bath with Macauley Culkin Michael vs Sleepover with Emmanuel Lewis Michael
5. Bubbles the Chimp Michael vs Elephant Man’s Bones Michael
4. Pepsi Generation Michael vs Jesus Juice Michael
3. Thriller & Bad Michael vs Everything That Came Next Michael
2. Plastic Surgery Michael vs More Plastic Surgery Michael vs Still More Plastic Surgery Michael vs Seriously, Someone Should Lose Their Medical License For This Shit Michael
1. Michael vs Diana Ross

Me, I think he’d like that last one best, and I’m pretty sure I know which option he’d vote for.

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