Some years get so hectic that the sound of “Ho, Ho, Ho!” is actually drowned out by the labored gasps bursting from your chest as you try to wrap up all your last-minute holiday errands. But no matter how crazy things get, your reward is a nice, relaxing Christmas with family and friends, right? Maybe. Or maybe instead you’ll end up experiencing something from…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Signs Christmas Isn’t Going So Well:
10. Accidentally gave wife’s gift to mom, and mom’s gift to wife, and neither one of them noticed
9. Egg nog + new Wii Fit = trip to emergency room
8. Mistletoe belt buckle attracts unwanted attention from your sister’s aggressive cat
7. Gingerbread house gets foreclosed before you can eat it
6. Slightly-confused aunt thought she was getting you tickets to Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, actually got you tickets to Batman & Robin: Turn Down the Bed
5. Everyone’s stocking stuffed with coal from mine in Chile
4. 1966-era fruitcake bought on eBay as a joke suddenly promoted to dessert
3. Children insist on marathon playing of A Very Bieber Christmas album
2. Best gift you got was copy of Sarah Palin’s new book
1. Most party guests spend day discussing next year’s trip to Mecca

Now go on and finish wrapping your presents, mixing your egg nog, trimming your tree, decking your halls, and be sure to have a Happy Friday and, of course, a Merry Christmas!

T “holly jolly” green

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