It’s Happy Friday time
Beginning with a rhyme
Like when it first went live
Way back in ’95

I know I’m 2 days late
And that’s not really great
But neither are the jokes
I’m dumping on you folks

And welcome back to another edition of Happy Friday, the weekly blog that once interrupted young Kanye West as he was about to give his first speech in public, something that he apparently still hasn’t gotten over.

This week The Jay Leno Show debuted to solid ratings on NBC. However, the ratings dropped sharply on the show’s second night, once NBC viewers realized they were not, in fact, watching the strangest episode of Law & Order ever.

This week Blockbuster Inc. announced it may close as many as 960 stores by the end of next year, which is totally shocking. The last time I passed a Blockbuster, I was on the bus, watching a movie on my iPod, heading to a mailbox to drop off my latest Netflix movie, and it looked like they had plenty of customers in there. How could this happen?

According to research modeling real social networks, it seems that the tendency to be happy is passed along in a way that suggests it could be ‘contagious.’ Fortunately, most of us gain a natural immunity to this contagion from a source known as our ‘job.’

This week, World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon announced that she’s planning to run against embattled Sen. Chris Dodd in the 2010 midterm elections. This may sound like a good idea now, but what happens when Dodd demands equal time on Monday Night Raw and turns up in a steel cage match wearing nothing but a skimpy pair of wrestling briefs, huh? Who wins when that happens? The answer is nobody, my friends. Nobody.

This week Microsoft debuted the Zune HD, its competitor to the iPod Touch. The Zune HD comes with a music player, games, apps and HD radio. The HD radio’s included because Microsoft wanted to offer one completely useless bit of technology in the Zune and there was no room to jam an 8-track player in there.

I shouldn’t make fun of HD radio. What other technology allows you to drop $500 or so for the opportunity to listen to commercial-free music, several failed station formats and a couple of AM stations on the FM band? Assuming you live close enough to a transmitter to even get any reception. Microsoft, once again showing it’s got its finger on the pulse of consumer demand.

Only one in four Oklahoma public high school students can name the first President of the United States, according to a survey released this week. And even worse, of the students who couldn’t name him, half of them asked “the United what?”

A Catholic charity in Britain says it believes couples should pray together before engaging in sex and to help them along, it has composed a special prayer for the occasion. I’m sure that whatever they wrote is way more eloquent than the prayer I used to say before sex — “Jesus, I hope I get laid tonight!”

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee is the favored 2012 presidential nominee among social conservatives, according to a straw poll released this week. Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin was locked in a virtual tie for a distant second with several other candidates. Coming in third was the ghost of Ronald Reagan, which barely beat out Newt Gingrich, “not sure”, Rick Santorum, “whoever Rush says to vote for”, Sarah Palin without makeup, a zombie Richard Nixon, Mickey Mouse, that crazy conspiracy guy on the F train platform, Count Chocula and, in last place, Rudy Giuliani’s old combover.

Astronomers have found the coldest spot in our solar system — it’s on our moon and not, as you suspected, in your ex-girlfriend’s heart.

The Newlywed Game will feature its first gay couple this season on a celebrity edition. George Takei, who played Mr. Sulu on Star Trek, will appear with his partner, Brad Altman. And in a related story, the guy who played Chekov is still hoping to get called down on The Price Is Right.

As I mentioned above, this week NBC began its experiment of running Jay Leno’s new show 5 nights a week at 10PM. The move is a risky one, but since Leno’s show is so cheap to make, NBC stands to save a lot of money if it works. But what if it doesn’t? If NBC ends up needing to save even more money, what could it possibly put on that would be even cheaper? Perhaps something from…

Tgreen’s Top Ten Cheaper Alternatives To Jay Leno’s Show:
10. The Ernie Anastos Poultry Report
9. Selections from Andy Richter’s DVD Library
8. The Taylor Swift HouThe Kanye West Hour
7. Kevin Eubanks Reads The Classics
6. The Fourth Hour Of This Morning’s Today Show That Nobody Bothered To Watch The First Time Around
5. Some Random Dude’s Facebook Page
4. The Best Of Whatever’s On The USA Network Right Now
3. Nanny Cam Hidden In Tracy Morgan’s Living Room
2. So You Think You Can Host An Hour Of Network Television Five Nights A Week
1. BJ & The Bear repeats (sorry, that’s one of Tgreen’s Top Ten Coolest Things Any Network Could Ever Do In The History Of Time)

And that’s all we have time for this week. Come back next time to see if there will be another opening rhyme, a new joke, or possibly even some genuine comedy. (My guess would be maybe, nope and seriously, have you ever read one of these before?!?)

T “Quality Assured” green

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